This is also the time, as some of you will remember, that I was going to "attempt" to get Arthur to see Santa. Some of you will remember my "attempt" with the Easter Bunny.
Well, I've been talking to Arthur about Santa and he's been quite receptive (yeah, right! He was receptive with the Easter Bunny until he was the next person in line and ended up around my neck).
Last night, we went to the mall. The line was not very long so I walked over to the Santa area and allowed Arthur to look at him over the red fence. He looked at him and seemed to be quite relaxed about him.
"Would you like to talk with Santa?" I asked.
Arthur was quiet for a few seconds and said, "Not right now, Mama." "Fine," I said, "We'll come back in a few minutes".
We walked around the mall for about an hour and returned to Santa. The line was getting long so I thought I'd better do it now so I say, "Arthur, let's see Santa now, okay?"
Arthur held my hand and said, "Okay."
We stood in line.
I looked for all the tell-tale signs that would let me know when Arthur was getting nervous. You know those signs. The ever-so-subtle squeeze of the hand, the gripping of your leg, the yanking and tearing of your hair as he's up around your neck afraid for his life. Well, none of these things happened. I was surprised. I was excited. I was relieved.
It was our turn.
Santa reached down and put Arthur on his knee. Arthur sat on Santa's knee and stared. It wasn't a frightened stare. He had a slight frown on his forehead but stared at him just the same.
"And what would you like for Christmas, young man?" Santa asked.
Arthur continued to stare and then his face lit up and he said, "I wipe your face on my butt!"
Arthur looked back at me and said, "Look Mama, Santa's the face on the toilet paper when I go potty!"
I stood there stunned. People in line started to laugh and I could hear the echo of his comment rolling down the line of people waiting.
I covered my face with my hand while Arthur looked back at Santa and again said, "Your face wipes my butt."
Santa looked up at me and back to Art and said, "Well, uh...okay.... what would you like for Christmas?"
Arthur didn't answer. He just stared after that.
I took him by the hand and walked away. The whole line of people watched us with a myriad of laughs and yet more echoes of Arthur's statement.
My face was seven shades of red! I went home and told Dad all about it while he watched television. When I got to the part about Santa's face wiping Arthur's butt, Dad looked at me.
"Where did he pick that up?" I asked.
"Well, when you first put the toilet paper in the guest bathroom and I helped Arthur after he....uh....went, I said, 'Look Arthur, we're are wiping your butt with Santa's face!.' That's where he heard it".
"Great," I said. "I'm sure Santa will be telling his elves this story for years to come, thanks to you."
Let's see now. He's ripped the Easter Bunny's ears off, and now has told Santa what he does with his face. What's next?