-- Captured on the Xerox circuit by Martha Johnson
- Real Programmers don't write specs-- users should consider themselves
lucky to get any programs at all, and take what they get.
- Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.
- Real programmers don't write application programs-- they program right
down to the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do
- Real Programmers don't write COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications
- Real Programmers' programs never run right the first time. But if you
throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-
hour debugging sessions.
- Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress
freaks and crystallography weenies.
- Real Programmers never work nine to five. If they are around at 9 am,
it's because they were up all night.
- Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in
BASIC after age twelve.
- Real Programmers don't do documentation. Documentation is for simps who
can't figure out the listing.
- Real Programmers don't write in Pascal, or BLISS, or ADA, or any of those
pinko computer science languages. Strong variable typse are for people with
- Real Programmers don't play tennis or any other sport that requires you to
change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and Real Programmers wear their
climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the
middle of the computer room.