ARKANSAS MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery -- The study of paintings

Bacteria -- The back door of a cafeteria

Barium -- What doctors do when a patient dies

Bowel -- A letter like a, e, i, o, or u

Caesarean Section -- A neighborhood in Rome

Cat Scan -- Searching for kitty

Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her

Colic -- A sheep dog

D & C -- Where the White House is

Dilate -- To live a long time

Enema --Not a friend

Fester -- Quicker

Genital -- Not a Jew

G.I. Series -- Soldier ball game

Hangnail -- Coat hook

Impotent -- Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain -- Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff -- A doctor's cane

Morbid --Higher offer

Nitrates -- Cheaper than day rates

Node -- Was aware of

Outpatient -- A patient who fainted

Papsmear --A fatherhood test

Pelvis -- A cousin of Elvis

Post-operative -- A letter carrier

Recovery Room -- One of the rooms in an upholstery shop

Rectum -- Dang near killed 'em

Seizure -- Roman Emperor

Tablet -- A small table

Terminal Illness -- Getting sick at the airport

Tumor -- More than one

Urine -- Opposite of "you're out"

Varicose -- Nearby

Vein -- Conceited