the scheme of things it seems that roads and sidewalks are interchangable. This confusion stems from the hasty establishment of the English language.....after all you park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway! Also consider why you have to buy something to get something else that is "FREE" in "buy one, get one free"! Hey, if the second one is free, then I'll just take the second one, please. Or for that matter, I'll take every other one, thanks.

I use this philosophy to justify opening cereal boxes in the store and eating the "FOUR OUNCES EXTRA FREE"...boy, the store manager was mad, but I said "HEY, THEY'RE FREE...SAYS SO RIGHT ON THE BOX".

How about "DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME"? What the hell does that mean? Can you really save daylight?..."Gee, Jim it's getting dark... looks like we'll have to cancel the game!"----"Oh no we don't... I've got about an hour and a half of daylight saved up in by back pocket here".

Or maybe it's light out longer so you can go to the bank.

How about "water resistant"? Does that mean if you drop your watch over a glass of water, it will somehow veer off and miss the glass?

A 'seedless' orange can have as many as 6 seeds in it. If you choke to death on a seed in a 'seedless' orange...does that mean you're not really dead?

Aren't people afraid that someone other than a fool will try to get through their `FOOLPROOF ALARM SYSTEM'?