IDIOTS AT WORK...
- Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
- I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit
card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to
the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS & GEOGRAPHY
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I
described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said,
"Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I
played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied,
"Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook
for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no
longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became
visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to
say, she was very disappointed.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg.