The black bear used to be one of the most commonly seen large animals because in Yosemite and Sequoia national parks they lived off of garbage and tourist handouts. This bear has learned to open car doors in Yosemite, where damage to automobiles caused by bears runs into the tens of thousands of dollars a year. Campaigns to bearproof all garbage containers in wild areas have been difficult, because as one biologist put it, "There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence levels of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."
Subject: State of Intelligence
Date: 14 Oct 92 08:30:05 GMT
This is for real; I am not making this up.
I was driving back to Pittsburgh from Chicago a few weekends ago, and had the CB so that I would be appraised of "traffic conditions." Anyway there were these two truckers talking on the channel.
Trucker #1: Metric is real simple. See there's none of these 16th and 32nd measures. Everything is just one through ten. It's real easy.
Trucker #2: Only one through ten, hun? Well, I got a few metric tools in my toolbox. And this here wrench is sized six POINT five... how do you explain that?
Subject: US Navy
Date: 15 Mar 92 09:30:04 GMT
Sworn to be true, but probably apocryphal:
In the mid 80's a cruiser of the U.S. navy put in to port in Catahegna, Spain, for a week's shore leave. (Well, leave for the crew, not the cruiser.) The first evening, the captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from an upper-class Spanish lady:
On Thursday, it will be my daughter's coming of age party. I would like you to send four well-mannered, rich, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8 p.m. - One last point: no Jews - we don't like Jews.
Sure enough, at 8 on Thursday, the lady heard a rap at the door, which she opened to find, in dress uniform, four exquisitely-mannered, wealthy, single, BLACK officers. Her lower jaw hit the floor, but pulling herself together she got out, "There must be some mistake".
"Madam", said the first officer, "Captain Cohen doesn't make mistakes."