Messed Up Pledges of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the frog of the United States of America and to the wee public for witches hands one Asian, under God, in the vestibule with little tea and just rice for all.

(This was printed as the child's honest attempt at the P of A.)

This is Matt Groening's version, reproduced from memory from _School Is Hell_:

"I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow, and to the Republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, invisible, with licorice and jugs of wine for owls."