The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies

(Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Come listen to my story of a man named John,
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone,
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
she lopped of his schlong with swipe of a knife.

( Penis that is )
( Clean Cut, Missed his nuts )

Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car taken willie for a ride,
She soon got tired of her purple headed friend,
And tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.

( Curve that is )
( Pricker Shrubs, Wheel Hubs )

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get his weeenie back,
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

( Found that is )
( By a fence, Evidence )

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart long,
So a dick doc said "Hey, I can fix your dong!"
A needle and a thread is all you're gonna need,
And the whole world waited til they heard that Johnny Peed.

( Whizzed, That Is )
( Even Seam, Straight Stream )

Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
with a cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short,
They cleared her of assult and aquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

( Video, That Is )
( Unexposed, Case Closed )