A Special Bedtime Prayer For Men

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my penis I will keep.
And if I wake and it is gone,
I hope I find it on the lawn.
I hope the dog that is running free
doesn't see that little part of me.
Many precautions I must take,
to keep this part I love to shake.
Much attentions I must pay,
to assure I put these knives away.
The mower, chainsaw the hatchet too.
Why, there's just no telling what she'll do
to rid me of my manly charm.
I must keep it safe away from harm
so, I cross my fingers, and close my eyes,
and cross my legs to avoid surprise.

-J. W. Bobbit