BY THE BALLS
An elderly lady walked into a branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank building
holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window
that she wished to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open an account
with the bank. She said that first, thought, she would like to meet the
President of Chase Manhattan Bank. Due to the amount of money involved, the
teller seemed to think that that was a reasonable request and after opening
the paper bag and seeing bundles of $1,000 bills which amounted to right around
$3 million, telephoned the President"s secretary to obtain an appointment for
The woman was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office.
Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to get to know the
people she did business with on a more personal level. The bank president
then asked her how she came into such a large sum of money.
"Was it an inheritance?" he asked.
"No," she answered.
"Was it from playing the stock market?" he inquired.
"No," she replied.
He was quiet for a second, trying to think of where this elderly woman
could possibly have come up with $3 million dollars.
"I bet," she stated.
"As in horses?" he asked.
"No," she replied. "I bet people." Seeing his confusion, she explained
that she just bet on different things with people. All of a sudden she said,
"I'll bet you $25,000 that by 10:00 o'clock tomorrow morning your balls will
The bank president figured she must be off her rocker and decided to take
her on her bet. He didn't know how he could lose. For the rest of the day he
was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances as
there was $25,000 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure
everything was okay. There was no difference in his scrotal appearance. He
looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the woman to
come in at 10:00 o'clock, humming as he went. He knew this would be his lucky
day -- how often did he get handed $25,000 for doing nothing?
At 10:00 o'clock sharp the woman was shown into his office. With her was
a man. When the bank president asked what the other man was doing in the
office, she informed the president that he was here lawyer and she always took
him along when there was that much money involved. "Well," she asked, "what
about our bet?"
"I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but I'm the same as
I've always been, only $25,000 richer!"
The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see
herself. The bank president thought this was a reasonable request considering
the amount of money involved and dropped his trousers.
She instructed him to bend over and then she grabbed hold of him. Sure
enough, everything was fine. His balls were not square.
The bank president then looked up and saw her lawyer, standing across the
room banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he
"Oh, him," she answered. I bet him $100,000 that by 10:00 o'clock this
morning I'd have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."