On the bridge that spanned a ravine
Archibald was screwing Kathleen
The force of his lunge
Caused the whole thing to plunge
Worse fucking disaster I've ever seen.

Poor alice, who lived in Corvallis
Had heard of, but not seen, the male phallus.
At her first sight of one
She started to run
And was last seen running through Dallas.

The Time tells the world what's doing.
Who's winning, who's losing, who's sueing.
Who's striking, who's stealing,
who's dying, who's healing,
But won't say a word on who's screwing.

There once was a whore from Peru,
Who filled her vagina with glue.
"If they pay to get in",
She said with a grin,
"They can pay to get out again too."

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam.
And much was his mirth
For on all of the Earth,
There were only two balls and he had 'em.

To his girl, said the sharp-eyed detective,
"It may be that my eyesight's defective.
Has your east tit the least bit the best of your west tit?
Or is it the fault of perspective?"

There was a young woman from Exeter
So lovely that men craned their necks at 'er.
One was even so brave as to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er.

There was a young man of de Guises
Whose balls were of two different sizes.
One was so small it was no ball at all.
The other was large and won prizes.

A weathered old goucho named Bruno
Said "fucking is one thing I do know.
Women are fine, and sheep are divine,
But llama are numero-uno!"

There was an old whore named Magee
Who was just the right sort for a spree.
She said, "for a fuck, I charge half a buck,
And I throws in me arsehole for free."

Fair Jennifer's hair is beyond compare.
Her eyes are bright, brown, and shiny.
Her lips are divine, in fact, she'd be fine
If only her tits weren't so tiny!

There was a young lady from China,
who had an enormous vagina.
And when she was dead,
they painted it red,
and used it for docking a liner.There was an old monk of Coblenz
Whose ballocks were simply immense
It took 44 laymen
3 priests and a shaman
To carry them thither and thence

A cavalier lad from Kildare
Was having a girl on the stair
The bannister broke
But he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

There was an old man of Goditch
Had the syph', and the clap, and the itch
His name was McNabs
And he also had crabs
The dirty old son of a bitch
(cont.)
McNabs has a friend who's a banker
Has crabs, herpes, syphllis and chancre
He got all the four
From a dirty old whore
So he wrote her a letter to thank her

The gay young Duke of Buckingham
Stood on the bridge at Rockingham
Watching the stunts
Of the cunts in the punts
And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking 'em

A lesbian once in Khartoum
Took a nancy-boy up to her room
They argued all night
About who had the right
To do which and with what and to whom!

There was a young man from Madras
Whose bollocks were made out of brass
In stormy weather
They clanged together
and sparks flew out of his arse!

There was a young man from Brazil
Who swallowed a dynamite pill
His stomach went clang!
His bollocks went bang!
And his todger shot over a hill!

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it!
Wiping cum from his chin
He remarked with a grin
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it!"

There once was a woman named Alice
who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
in North Carolina
and a piece of her ass was in Dallas

Frustrated young Mr. Hall
Pushed his clone from a very high wall
He said in disgust,
"All he does is cuss!"
He was jailed for an obscene clone fall.

There once was a young girl from France
Who liked to pull down young mans pants.
She stripped and she teased them,
She knew how to please them,
And *not* with a song and a dance.

First let me explain that I'm cursed,
I'm a poet whose time gets reversed.
Reversed gets time,
Whose poet a I'm,
Cursed I'm that explain me let first!