Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

  1. Combatting Stupidity
  2. You Too Can Do Housework
  3. PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
  4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
  5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Just Give Us Credit Cards)
  6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
  7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called "Don't Wash My Silks")
  8. Parenting Roles Beyond Initial Conception
  9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook
  10. How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You Are Obviously Wrong
  11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right
  12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
  13. You, The Weaker Sex
  14. Reasons To Give Flowers
  15. How To Stay Awake After Sex
  16. Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere Except In The Bathroom
  17. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb
    • You Really Can Fall Asleep Without Doing It, If You Really Try
    • The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake In The Morning, Take A Cold Shower
  18. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Damn Well Please
  19. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat (formerly called "No It's Not A Bidet")
  20. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Often Bullshit
  21. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
  22. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency
  23. Romanticism - Other Ideas Beyond Sex
  24. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
  25. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
  26. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
  27. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
  28. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
  29. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
  30. You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked
  31. Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works!
  32. Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Your Vocabulary
  33. Fluffing The Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary
  34. You Don't Really Need That Porsche After Thinning Hair And Mid-Life Crisis
  35. How To Tolerate Bras And Pantyhose Hanging In The Bathroom

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

  1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag
  2. You Can Change The Oil Too
  3. PMS - Learning To Sleep Over At Mother's
  4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug
  5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas (Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)
  6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness
  7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football
  8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around
  9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop
  10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
  11. Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself
  12. Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right
  13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility
  14. You, The Whining Sex
  15. Reasons To Give Head To Your Man
  16. How To Stay Awake During Sex And Imagine That It Lasted For Over 10 Minutes
  17. Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed Company
  18. Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours
    • You Can Use A Bed For More Than Just Sleep
    • It's Okay To Do It Outside Of The Bedroom
  19. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
  20. How To Close The Garage Door
  21. If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation
  22. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia
  23. Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank
  24. Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation
  25. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself
  26. Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend
  27. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous
  28. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
  29. You Too Can Carry A Backpack
  30. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most
  31. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men
  32. Dress Like A Slut And Put On Something Sexy - Why It Won't Ruin Your Brain
  33. Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving
  34. Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not Necessary
  35. How To Remain Femininely Enticing And Attractive After Menopause
  36. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste