From: I.R.S Service Center

Date: Dec 27, 1993

Subject: NOTICE OF INCREASE IN TAX PAYMENT

THE ONLY THING THE I.R.S. HAS NOT TAXED YET IS YOUR PENIS. THIS IS DUE TO THE FACT THAT 40% OF THE TIME IT IS HANGING AROUND UNEMPLOYED; 20% OF THE TIME IT IS PISSED OFF; 30% OF THE TIME IT IS HARD UP AND 10% OF THE TIME IT IS IN THE HOLE. ON TOP OF THAT, IT HAS TWO DEPENDENTS, AND THEY ARE BOTH NUTS. EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, YOUR PENIS WILL BE TAXED ACCORDING TO ITS SIZE.

TO DETERMINE YOUR CATEGORY OF TAXATION, PLEASE CONFIRM THIS INFORMATION ON PAGE 2, SECTION 7, LINE 3 OF YOUR STANDARD 1040 TAX FORM:

NOTE: ANYONE UNDER FOUR INCHES IS ELIGIBLE FOR A REFUND. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION.

MALES EXCEEDING TWELVE INCHES MUST FILE UNDER CAPITAL GAINS.

SINCERELY,

PECKER CHECKER

I.R.S. AGENT