: MATTHEW NELSON DAILEY
...let seep for a while, then put the top on the pot and hold it in place
while you swing the pot by its handle up and around a couple times. The
centrifuge effect forces all the grounds to the bottom of the pot. Tastes
great with any old coffee.
A less energetic alternative is to add eggshells to settle the grounds. I
don't know why this works; it's folklore. This is a good alternative if you
have a missing (or weak) wire bail (look, ma, it's a coffee-a-pult!).
I don't know, that's just me. I've heard the eggshell thing works also.
I find an even easier alternative is to slap on your walkman, hike down to
Starbucks, and order an iced triple latte. Sip it there, read the local
paper, and meet the man or woman of your dreams. Then sneak into the local
theatre for a classic movie, and it will have begun raining. Run laughing
through the rain with your newfound love, and duck into a little family-owned
Italian restaurant for some pasta and a bottle of Chianti. Discover that you
both lived on the same block when you were growing up, but had never met each
other. You will find that not only are they the only person you've met who's
funnier than you are, but they are also extremely sexy and smart, with
piercing blue eyes that make you feel naked yet alive, excited but safe. Get
a room at a Bed & Breakfast, have the best sex of your life, and sprawl across
each other's naked, entwined limbs as you split a pint of Haagen-Dazs. Better
yet, get two pints because the only thing you don't agree on yet is which is
better -- Cappuccino Commotion or Deep Chocolate Peanut Butter. Leave the B&B
(where the blushing old lady has given you a free room, thanked you for
reminding her of the potential and godliness of true love, and closed the Inn
so she could spend the night alone with her husband of 49 years), and stop
back at Starbucks for a decaf grande. Reminisce about your day, and express
your utter and complete devotion to each other for the rest of eternity.
Exchange rings that you both have -- family heirlooms passed down for
generations -- kiss passionately, and have your picture taken by an amateur
photographer who was just passing through town, and whose picture of your kiss
will win him a Pulitzer prize and the cover of Life magazine. Order a carafe
of espresso for your friends, and hike back up the mountain with your
soulmate. You will find your friends, soaking wet from the rain and huddled
around a campfire. Pass out the espresso to your fellow campers, and
introduce your new love. The warmth of your love will fill their hearts and
dry their clothes, and they will think he/she is the ideal person for you.
After a couple hours of talking and laughing and writing poetry and singing
with your friends, both of you curl up in your sleeping bag, wrap your arms
around each other, and fall asleep under a breathtakingly bright Milky Way.