The Armed Woman's Attitude Test

by Massad Ayoob

printed in "Women & Guns", Dec '91 issue


The media, both entertainment and news, have grotesquely skewed the public image of women who choose to responsibly own firearms for self-defense. Unfortunately, constant exposure to public image can affect self-image. That can be dangerous, whether the result is a woman who becomes anorexic or a woman who allows herself to be talked out of exercising her absolute right to effective personal protection.

This Armed Woman's Attitude Test is offered in the hopes of putting some of the false images into a proper perspective. Please circle A, B, or C in answer to each question.

  1. What is the real meaning of that pink T-shirt with a revolver on it that says, "The ultimate in feminine protection?"
  2. For rape and assault prevention, a whistle is:
  3. The movie _Thelma_&_Louise_ was:
  4. What was technically wrong with the scene in _Thelma_&_Louise_ where the two women disarmed a Texas State Police Officer.
  5. A mouse runs across the kitchen floor. The proper response it to:
  6. You are discussing the depressing local crime statistics with your good- hearted neighbor, Ralph, who suggests that you buy a .25 caliber pistol for home defense. You reply:
  7. What is your reaction to the concept of a bra holster?
  8. Define "male."
  9. Where, in the scheme of things defensive, do such spray products as Mace and CapStun belong?
  10. You are cornered in your home by a knife-wielding intruder. He ignores your command to halt, and charges you with the knife upraised. How many shots should you fire?

Grading the Exam

If 8 or more (80 %) of your answers were "A," it is time to check into a Reality Clinic. Perhaps the meek will inherit the earth, but only when the rest of us are done with it.

If 8 or more of your answers were "B," welcome to the land of the well- adjusted adults who manage their own responsibilities with an appropriate level of power.

If 8 or more of your answers were "C," don't feel too bad. Society may not have a place for you, but Hollywood will, as soon as they start casting for the lead role in _Bride_of_Rambo_.