The Prime Directive--What it Really Means

(To the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious")


To boldly go where none has gone, that is the task before us.
Even though the major networks seem to have ignored us.
We've been around for quite a while, and all the fans adore us.
I wish we'd get a decent script, the novelty will floor us.

um-diddle-iddle-iddle um-diddle-la
um-diddle-iddle-iddle um-diddle-la

The first rule taught at Star Fleet is that we don't interfere
Because we'll warp new cultures, and we'll get them hooked on beer.
We know how to get 'round this rule, wherever we may go.
'Cause we auction off the broadcast rights for all repeats they show.

The second rule at Star Fleet is that you should be above
The feelings when a sexy alien wants to make love.
Of course there exceptions, like the 'Cap' and 'Number One'.
'Cause we all know sex assures that high ratings will be won.

The third rule taught at Star Fleet is that violence doesn't win
And if you should destroy life forms, you made a mortal sin.
But that won't stop us from revenge on those who are the worst
We'll beam off ol' Luxwanna, with her molecules dispersed.

I'm now a captain of my own and now I understand
That rules that have been carved in stone and lies go hand in hand
I've broke the rules a thousand times, I feel like such a jerk
But I'll never break the record of the famous James T. Kirk