This is what's going to happen during the seventh season of TNG and the second
season of DS9...
Paramount, wishing to milk their cash cow for all it's worth, will demand more
shows. Obeying, the producers will dish out the following...
The Borg collective will return, changed by Hugh. There mission now is to
obliterate all wishy-washy and boring races. Their first target: Bajor.
The Enterprise responds to the distress signal from DS9 and saves everyone but
Kira, who dies horribly in an beverage replicator accident.
>From this, many shows are born...
- Bashir and Data get lost on the other side of the worm hole in a runabout
and have to go from planet to planet in a half-hour, weekly situation comedy.
We'll call it ST: The Odd Couple.
- The Federation will pin the entire Borg Invasion on Picard and he'll go
one the run, always looking for that one-armed Cardassian he saw on DS9 just
before it exploded... We'll call this one ST: The Fugitive.
- Beverly Crusher will die hideously in a transporter accident (help me,
help me, I'm melting) and Wesley will be forever changed. He'll shave his
head, grow a goatee and take command of a small border patrol ship crewed by
Richard Greico, Johnny Depp, Michael Bendetti, and Holly Robinson. This one's
21 Trek Street.
- Worf and Sisko... ST: My Two Dads.
- Odo will get trown into some sort of weird warp effect and will have to
spend the rest of eternity leaping from life to life, with his sole companion
Quark, always hoping that his next leap will be the leap home...
- O'Brien will get his own intergalactic fix-it show. We'll call it ST:
- Troi, Dax and Vash open their own detective agency, with the voice of
Barclay directing their way. ST: Barclay's Angels
- Riker gets a specially suped-up runabout named Bit and he goes from planet
to planet solving problems and sleeping with babes. ST: Knight Riker
- Q comes across a planet with lots of half-dressed woman and a little,
short guy who always calls him "boss." Q spends his time granting wishes and
playing with their minds. We'll call it ST: Fantasy Planet.
- Guinan, Mrs. Troi and Goerdi open an Interior Design Studio in Georgia...
Thought I'd give you MY list of epsiodes for the next season of TNG, it can't
be anymore wrong than any of the other ones....
Data and Lore decide that destroying all races in the galaxy is not a
lucrative business idea, so Lore and the renegade borg decide to open up a
chain of fast food restuarents caled "Borg are King" The only problem is, all
the burgers are the same. The episode finishes with Data apologizing
profusely for ten minutes to every member of the crew for his bad actions,
negative feelings, selfishness, and the entire first season of TNG.
TEST OF WILLS:
Commander Riker decides to stay up all nigth and watch all the episodes of the
"Avengers" When he comes onto the bridge the next day looking frazzled, he is
committed and goes insane for a few hours, then at the end combs his hair and
the crew realizes he is fine.
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE:
Wesley Crusher comes back to visit and goes to Ten-forward to get a drink, but
the line is to long. Wes, being the putz he is, alters the space-time
contimunm so he can travel backwards and get in line before everyone else, but
he goes back to far and ends up in Star Trek V.
Counselor Troi is hit on the head and thinks she is a 20th century buuilding
contractor. She spends the episode walking around the ship with her pants
barely covering her ass, a large tool belt and errantly fixing things that
aren't broken, all the while whistling at female crew members and calling them
"babe" and "chick." She gets her memory back when Geordi lures her into a
treatment chamber disguised as a local pub.
Because of captain Picard's unwillingnes to put a bathroom on the bridge, the
bidge crew forms a local union and calls a strike. This episode shows Picard
sweating profusely and constantly wiping his head.
Data, Ensign Ro, and Worf get bored and leave the Enterprise to start a rock
group . Their tour ends abruptly when Worf gets mad at their agent and rips
off his arms.
Ensgin Ro is on the show for two consecutive episodes and gets a decent
WHO DOCTORS THE DOCTOR?
Dr. Crusher gets hooked on pills (which are actually only red tic-tacs) and
has to go to Starfleet rehab where she is taunted for being an idiot and for
being in "Taking Care of Business" Guest appearence by Jim Belushi.
TO ERR IS KLINGON:
Gowron begins to go insane and declares war on Cardassisa, but he spells it
wrong in the war declaration and the Klingon fleet destroys car washes in
every system before the Enterpise tells them they are wrong. Then the
Klingons claim it was a training exercise and go home to beat the hell out of
A mysterious alien force captures the Enterprise, insults the crew and cops a
feel of of Counselor Troi.
THE WHOLE TRUTH:
DS9 crossover episode. Dr. Bashir, Riker, Geordi and Worf are trapped
together on a research mission, and Worf slaps the hell out of Bashir becuase
of his annoying laugh, then Worf is attacked by Odo, who is bitter becuase Odo
had been watching Worf and had been disguised as his toilet for two days.
BOYS WILL BE BOYS: (Two parter )
Worf's son Alexander is caught selling isolinear chips showing Troi and
Crusher in various modes of undress. Worf punishes Alexander and then sells
them to the captain in exchange for becoming first officer. Riker is fired
and goes to DS9, where he is mocked and teased by Sisko and Dax.