What makes a person a success?

As I (and most of the people around me) am settling into my adult life, I’ve been thinking about what being a success means. Is there some universal measuring stick to measure success? What factors are necessary to be deemed “successful” and what factors help but are not crucial? I think there is somewhat of a universally accepted feel of success – if you described a few people to a randomly selected group of adults in this country, most would agree on which ones were successes and which were not.

I think the most common scale that people would use is money, and I agree that at least to some extent money is a prerequisite for success. Society as a whole would not have difficulty labeling the wealthy entrepreneur as more successful than the guy on the corner asking for a dollar, and I think they would be right. Certainly, if you do not have enough money to survive (much less choose to do things you want to), it’s going to be hard for you to be happy at all. So, we add “having ‘enough’ money” to the list of necessary things, and ‘enough’ means however much you require to meet your needs and keep you happy.

What about happiness? Can a person be successful if they are unhappy? Or, alternatively, does a successful person have to be blissful? On a scale of 1-to-10 in happiness, it seems like if you’re a 2 or lower, you’re not a success, and if you’re 3-5, you’re probably not. But above that, I would say you can still be a success – happiness is important but is it everything? Certainly there are other factors and circumstances that affect whether or not someone has succeeded in life.

An important (and frequently overlooked) factor in all of this, I think, is that in some sense your success should be measured based on where you start. We all begin life in vastly different circumstances, both in terms of our natural abilities, and in terms of how and where we are raised. Someone who is abused as a child and raised in a poor neighborhood with terrible schools, etc. who gets a reasonable job and manages to move away to a reasonable place and raise their children reasonably should probably be deemed a success regardless of other factors. Most of the people around me all came from middle/upper class homes in nice neighborhoods, and thus are all working with similar initial conditions. So I guess I’m assuming in my discussion that we’re talking about normal people from normal middle class families (the middle class is the norm now in this country).

So what else? Surely there must be other factors. What about something like weight? Can a person who’s 100 or more pounds overweight be a success? It certainly seems like if the person’s weight doesn’t preclude them from doing the things they want to be able to do in life, I don’t see why they can’t still be considered successful. What about having a (or more) close relationship(s) with at another human being? Is this necessary – what about a guy who essentially locks himself in a room and writes the best symphonies the world has ever heard? He doesn’t really interact with others except influencing them through is music. If he’s happy doing it, can you really call him a failure? Certainly he’s a positive influence on the world, so that should count for something. Ok, let’s take it a step farther. What about a person who essentially locks themselves in a room and becomes better at a video game than anyone else in the world, and is happy with their life? I think most people would say this person is not successful, but to some extent it’s hard to argue with happiness. To me, the world should in some way be a better place because you existed – even if it’s just through your positive interactions with your friends and family. I think anyone who works a job to provide enough for his/her family, lives a good life, and treats his/her family and friends with respect and love should be considered a success. Whether this person will consider him/herself a success is another story entirely.

Ultimately, we are really only answerable to ourselves (religion aside), and I think that it’s important for each individual to set and work to attain reasonable goals to define our success or failure. To me, success is a combination of a few things. 1) A person should be reasonably happy, and keep their life together enough so that their happiness is possible. 2) The person should have a positive influence on the world, either by their direct or indirect influence on others. 3) They should have accomplished enough to believe they have had a successful life.