AEROMA (air o muh) n. The odor from an exercise room after an aerobics class.
AQUADEXTROUS (ok wuh deks trus) n. The ability to turn the faucet on and off with your toes.
AQUAINTAPPARELNESIA (ak want up ar ul ne zhee uh) n. The psychological term for a friend who borrows clothes and never returns them.
ARMAD (arm ad) n. A person carrying a big shopping bag bearing a store logo.
ASSENGER (ass in jur) n. A person who deplanes ahead of you, then stops to greet people, blocking everyone behind him from getting into the terminal.
AT&TIMIDATOR (a te an tim i da tur) n. A forceful phone salesperson.
AWARDODEOING (uh ward o de o ing) v. When the recipient of an award attempts to leave the stage in the wrong direction and has to be herded off the other way by the presenters.
BOVILEXIA (bo vil eks e uh) n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow.
BULLSHEET (buhl shet) n. An advertising supplement in a newspaper.
CABNICREEP (kab nih krep) n. A structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.
CANISCOOTUS (kan is koot us) n. A dog pushing its food bowl around the floor as it eats.
CARBCOZY (karb ko ze) n. Foam sleeve holder for a canned beverage.
CARPITCHULAKE (kar pitch yu lak) v. When the host of a fishing show catches a fish, talks about it, and then throws it back.
CASTCASPERS (kast kas purs) n. Dead movie stars appearing in old movies on T.V.
CHEEDLE (che dul) n. The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
CHIPFAULT (chip fahlt) n. The stress point on a potato chip where it breaks off and stays behind in the dip.
CLEVELAGE (klev laj) n. The sight one sees when a large repair man in low, loose jeans bends over.
CURBPIE (kurb pi) n. A hubcap on the side of the road.
DESSERTATION (di zurt ta shun) n. A waiter's litany of what's on the dessert cart.
DOWDUNCE (dow duns) n. Someone who knows nothing about the stock market.
DROOLETTES (droo lets) n. The polite, little yummy sounds diners make when the waiter rolls up the dessert cart.
ELBONICS (el bon iks) n. The actions of two people fighting for one armrest.
ELUSIKEY (el oo sih ke) n. The key that is invariably lost in the bottom of a purse.
ELUSIVATOR (el oo si va tur) n. The elevator whose doors close just befor you can push the call button.
ESPRAYSION (ess pra shun) n. The look on a person's face right before he sneezes.
EXECUGLIDE (eks ek yoo glid) v. To propel oneself about the office without getting up from the chair.
FAXFUNK (faks funk) n. The blemishes on a copy received from a facsimile machine.
FEEHICLE (fe hik ul) n. A used car for sale in a driveway.
FIDONK (fy donk): n. A dog's motion of bouncing his head on the floor while sneezing.
FIDROVER (fi dro ver) n. A person walking more than five dogs.
FILTHER (fil thur) n. A used coffee filter.
FLINKY (flenk e) n. The ink mark you make on a book page when flipping through it with a pen in hand.
FLOSSA NOSTRA (flos ah nos trah) n. A mob of dentists who instruct you to floss, or else.
FLOSSULATIONS (flos yu la shuns) n. The little tracks you get on your thumbs after a good, long flossing.
FRIGEROBICS (frij ur o biks) n. Leaning, bending, and stretching while looking into the refrigerator.
GASTIDIOUS (gas tid e us) n. The deft manner in which one removes a gas cap so as not to get any fuel on his hands.
GLACKETT (glak it) n. The noisy ball inside a can of spray paint.
GLUTINOXIOUS (gloo tin ok shus) n. Hospital food.
GNAWIMBLY (naw wim ble) n. A dog's chewed-up tennis ball.
HOZONE (ho zon) n. The mysterious place where one sock from every laundry load disappears into.
INCHCLINCHER (inch clin chur) v. To place a ruler next to the item being described on a shop-at-home network.
LARRY (lair e) n. A really frayed toothbrush that should have been thrown out weeks ago.
LUGGURGITATION (lug gurj ih ta shun) v. When luggage pops out onto the baggage claim belt.
MACAX (mak aks) n. Computer shut-down.
MAYBUTT (ma but) n. A wishy-washy person.
MIRTHGIRTH (murth gurth) n. Weight gained over the holidays.
MONKEY THUMP (munk e thump) n. A bruise on a banana.
NIWAGRA (ni wag ruh) n. The motion that causes a guy to miss the toilet.
PAASAULT (pahz alt) v. Cracking an Easter egg on someone's head.
PAASORB (pahz orb) n. A peeled Easter egg that has the color of the shell on it.
PALMGREASITY (pahlm gre sit e) n. A maitre d's attitude.
PAN AMIME (pan amim) v. The motions one airline attendant goes through while another explains on-board procedures.
PENTH ELMET (penth el met) n. The cap on a fountain pen.
PLASTERBLASTER (plas tur blas tur) n. An argument heard through apartment walls.
PONDERY (pond ur e) n. When you pour too much hand lotion and must offer it to people around you to use it up.
POOTOOTER (poo toot ur) n. An empty toilet paper roll.
PORCINEFLINGUS (por sen fling us) n. The two-minute offense a losing football team runs.
PORNOPOUCH (por no powch) n. The plastic container for adult magazines in a store rack.
PROCATSTINATE (pro kat stin at) v. When a cat goes to the door to be let out, only to find that it can't decide whether to go out or stay in once the do or is opened.
RADIODLING (ra de od ling) v. Singing along with your car radio.
RECOINNOITER (re coin oi tur) v. To check for change in coin return slots.
RUMPPUMP (rump pump) n. A stair-climbing exerciser.
SALVATION & LOAN (sal va shun and lon) n. A TV evangelist program.
SCHEW (shoo) n. Gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
SEEYAKS (se yaks) n. All the "We should get together again soon" talk at the end of an evening with friends.
SNUGGAGE (snug ij) n. Personal belongings stuffed under the airline seat in front of your or in the overhead compartment.
SPHINCTERROR (sfink ter ur) n. The fear that overcomes you when you see police lights in your rearview mirror.
TERMINAL WHIFF (tur min el whif) n. The airline smell your clothes have after a long flight.
THRONIE (thro ne) n. The little jiggle you give the handle of a toilet to make it stop running.
TOBOGGAN HAGEN (tuh bog un hog un) n. A very large ice-cream sundae.
TOOTSIETAIL (toot se tal) n. An untied shoelace.
TUMBLEBAT (tum blu bat) n. Apparel stuck at the top inside of a clothes dryer.
UMBRELLACTIC (um brel ak tik) n. The protective sleeve of a compact umbrella.
VIRGINIA SLIMED (vur jin yuh slymd) n. A cigarette butt with lipstick on it.
WHOANO (wo no) n. A menu on the wall outside a very expensive restaurant.
WOBBLEWARBLE (woh bul war bul) n. A waitress's last call in a bar.
ZINESHEEN (zen shen) n. The plastic wrap on the magazines you receive in the mail.